Calm at Work (revisited)

calm lake
I spent most of today tidying and sorting out my garage. Books and tools don’t always mix. I have 5 big 60 litre plastic storage boxes full of books, plus stacks lying on every shelf and ledge. My main problem is an underlying urge to keep every book. I enjoyed it once, why not again?
I had to be brutal. Long term companions had to go into the “get rid of” pile.

I ended up with every storage box full and back on the shelves. Plus 5 carrier bags full of books.

Plus a few in the undecided pile.
pile of old books
You know the category. Don’t really want to throw it out, don’t really want to read it again, maybe sentimental value. Like the first book of a favoured author, The book itself isn’t great, but it introduced you to a now-favoured author. Children’s favourite bed-time books.
Absolutely no literary merit.
Absolutely no way I’m going to throw it out. But it’s really crap. What to do.

Amongst this pile I came across the Little Book of Calm at Work. Published in 1996. Bought by my beloved. Unbelievably awful. But it could be adapted. Here’s a few, and please feel free to add any updates you wish in the comments. Remember this is a no-censorship blog.

Consort with the Calm.

Calm is catching. Enjoy being
around calm people – not for the
stimulation, but for the peaceful
feelings they spread.

And then grab the boring PC bastards and strangle the life out of their scrawny throats.

Turn on to water

Drink lots more water than you think
you need and not only will you have
better health, you will have increased
feelings of calm.

Also an incredible increase feelings of pressure in the bladder.
Has this idiot ever been stuck in front of a pack of screaming music-hating sub-humans with a bursting bladder?
You can’t go and have a pee. You have to stay and watch the little buggers every second, otherwise you end up with a wrecked classroom, two punchups and every key pulled off every keyboard. DON’T DRINK WATER BEFORE A CLASS.


About Kiwidoug

Teacher, father, computer geek, science fiction fan, DIY aficionado, older..older..older.. every day
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2 Responses to Calm at Work (revisited)

  1. Second says:

    Thanks kiwidoug, this is all good advice.

  2. Bas's bag says:

    Mate. I know what you mean. Bloody Second left me standing at the door the other day. I had drunk about a dozen and needed a piss but would have had to go through the kitchen. His wife doesn’t like that. Anyway, if I had got to the bloody toilet Second would have been sitting on it. He does that with the lid down. Weird shit. I just pissed in the old trou mate. Not to worry, I always take them off before I ride home on my bike.

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